It's hard to merge the loving image of my father with the person who died by suicide

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This is a First Person column by Amanda Whalen, who lives in Toronto. For more information about CBC’s First Person stories, see the FAQ.

WARNING: This story includes details about suicide.

It has been 10 years since my father unexpectedly took his life. I was 22 when it happened and in my final year of undergraduate studies at Western University. I struggled to cope and took four weeks off school. Later, I dropped a course, delayed my graduation and deferred acceptance to my master’s program. His death unravelled my family and derailed my life. 

The trauma my family had to overcome often clouds

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